"Stand in There and Hold Your Peace"

This past Sunday, I attended church where the pastor's sermon was "What do you do, when you don't know what to do?"  What do you do when you are in what appears to be an impossible situation- stuck between a rock and a hard place?  The pastor referenced the Book of Exodus Chapter 14, Verses 10-14.  We should stand still, hold our peace, and witness the salvation of God as the Creator works on our behalf.  What a powerful message!

Many times we go to church or through spiritual services receiving words and lessons that we sometimes overlook.  But what I have come to understand in my adulthood is that we get messages that are sometimes "an on-time message" or "waiting in the wings message."  We all go through situations and circumstances sometimes that are so challenging that even some of our closest friends and family don't know.  I recently wrote a blog about a month ago concerning the local Department of Social Services here in Fayetteville, North Carolina.  I didn't provide any details concerning the situation.  But, what I can say is that this last Sunday's message was "an on-time message."  The following day, this past Monday, I got a call from my attorney who gave me the largest news for me this year- my legal case with the Child Protective Services of the Department of Social Services had been dropped and all allegations against me were dismissed- just weeks before my trial for allegations of abuse and neglect of my children was to begin.  For almost three whole months, with my children in protective custody of the State of North Carolina, after fighting the battle myself with e-mails, petitions, etc. God delivered me and my children from the fiery furnace.  I had waited on the salvation of the Creator for three months, with the fate of my children in someone else's hands.  The allegations going to trial meant possible criminal charges and the permanent removal of my children from my custody.  I hope that no parent has to go through what my family and I had to endure. 

In early March, my son's father was taking me down my stairs in my house to get a bottle of food.  His father accidentally tripped and fell down the last few stairs with the baby in tow on his chest.  The pressure from him bracing the baby accidentally pulled my son's left leg, causing a fracture.  With my son already being 2 1/2 months premature, he is more prone to injury anyway.  After taking him to his pediatrician, the doctor examined him and said he was fine.  However, I noticed my son's leg swelling over the next couple of days and he was very careful not to apply pressure to his leg if he was playing with me or his father. So, as a watchful mother, I took him to another doctor who examined him and stated that he was fine.  Innately, something didn't feel right to me so I requested for her to do an x-ray on his leg.  Well, she did an x-ray and found a fracture.  Then, the drama began.

An investigative doctor was called from UNC-Chapel Hill's local child abuse program known as the Beacon Program.  This doctor examined my son's x-ray and the reporting doctor's explanation my son's father and I gave during our doctor's visit.  Well, according to this investigative doctor, the only possible way my son's leg could have been fractured was if his father and I tried to break it.  If anyone knows me, they know what caliber of a mother that I am and how seriously I take God having entrusted me with the care and upbrining of my two children.  She further examined my son (which I volunteered to) over the next few days and then found what she deemed other injuries to include head trauma and a right broken leg- which she summed up to be from "shaken baby syndrome."  A few days later, Child Protective Services of Cumberland County got legal custody of my two children and physically removed them from my house. 

Fast forwarding- after court hearings where the local judges seemed uncaring, Guardian ad Litem who never even visited my children during the investigation, and hours and hours of unimaginable things- the right hand of God intervened.  Two doctors from the same hospital as the accusing doctor found no broken right leg, no head trauma, and the left leg fracture to indeed be from the pressure of the fall with my son's father.  The evil one had put together a plan for my destruction and the demise of my family but God had another plan in store.  "No weapon formed against me shall prosper" and indeed it did not.  The local Child Protective Services didn't move to find another opinion, it was God who made the situation happen when my son had follow-up visits for his fractured leg- a doctor who cared enough to look deeper into the situation.  And another doctor who cared enough to look deeper and provide a third opinion as well.  Only God provided that and this I know for a fact.  Now, my life is not the same, but it shouldn't be- I'm stronger, wiser, and more determined to continue in God's Word. 

What do you do when you don't know what to do?  In an seemingly impossible situation?  Don't hang in there- that suggests dangling with little support.  Stand still, hold your peace, and wait for the salvation of the Creator while God fights for you and covers you on all sides.

Peace, Love, and Light

Accepting Changes and Transitions

"Abraham believed God, and it was imputed unto him for righteousness: and he was called Friend of God."
~James 2:23

I believe almost everyone in my life is going through a time of personal transition and change.  Changes, transitions, phases, shifts in life can sometimes be scary but really they represent signs and symbols of where we truly are or what is to come for us.  As much as I have wanted for things to change for the better for myself and my children, I must admit that I have experienced a sufficient enough amount of fear or distraction, that I have not answered the door when change has knocked. 

Oftentimes God attempts to usher in change in our lives by doing very little things.  I now realize that the change I pray for is the same change I have been resisting.  For example, two years ago I had a chance to move to Africa and work- something I have always talked about doing.  However, instead of doing this, I chickened out and allowed someone/some thing to take my attention away.  And what happens when we look the other way when we're supposed to be somewhere else?  Well, we usually get thrown off to some place where we don't truly want to be or we simply keep going down the path we prayed to be delieverd from in the first place.  After trying to bring change simply, God may then resort to dramatic acts.  If there is a job you have needed to leave but you were afraid of a higher paying job or having to relocate in order to have and do better- God may just simply take the present job away from you- forcing you to move into transition anyway.  Or God may just allow you to continue to live a slow death of going to a dreaded "job" you despise and complain about all the time until you just can't take it anymore or the contract runs out- which ever one comes first.

Remember, to walk from one door of opportunity and growth, you must enter the corridor/hallway and get through the traffic to get over to the other side to the next door in order to Transition.  Transition denotes progress, growth, and strengthening of good character. Believe God today.

My prayer for us all is, "Divine Creator, allow me to usher in change for the better as I know that you have what is best for me at the forefront of everything you do in my life.  Allow me to be prepared for the change and transition that I have prayed so diligently for in life.  Help me not allow fear and distractions to take away my faith and my opportunity to be a better me.  In Jesus' name we pray, believe all things, and receive all things in faith.  Amen."

Facing the Corridor

May 21, 2011 passed and those that awaited the end of the world were disappointed.  There was no doomsday, the sky didn't turn blood red, and there was no loud roaring and rumbling coming from the heavens.  There have been many disasters and calamities that the world has experienced within the last 6-12 months and they are all "signs" of the times.  However, signs are just that- signs of something impending. 

We experrience personal signs in our own lives of something impending or to come.  The signs do not mean that you have arrived at your destination, it simply means you're approaching or you're still a ways away from it.  When I pray for something and I begin to work towards my prayer while the Creator does their part, I soon recognize different levels of opposition to my prayer or my work.  We all experience this I'm sure.  First, it starts with simple distractions.  Maybe someone tries to divide your time away from what you're trying to do or maybe something always seems to come up when you're just about to begin some work or just before th work is complete.  And if these don't work, you may begin to experience some self-doubt about what you've prayed for and whether or not it can come to pass.  I've come to visualize this phase in life as "Facing the Corridor."

When you close the door on one thing and travel across the hallway to the other door which leads you to your next level, you must travel through the hallway or corridor.  The corridor isn't an empty space.  The corridor is filled with traffic and thoroughfare.  This traffic and thoroughfare are our distractions and/or the wiles of the enemy coming against us.  The traffic may come in the form of temptation, an emergency, a life circumstance that has to be attended to at the time, or it may come as direct opposition from the hands of the evil one.  The time in the corridor may be short or lengthy- depending on your commitment, strength, determination, motivation, courage, patience, preserverance, and level of steadfastness.  As you've heard it said many times, for every new level, there are new devils. 

As many of us are in our season of transition and walking through corridors, I pray that we are able to stay committed to positive change and growth.  I pray that we are able to stand still and hear the voice of the Creator when we are called upon and that we are able to see what the divine spirit is showing us at all times.  I pray that we are able to use all that the Creator has equipped us with the withstand the wiles and weapons formed against us that will not prosper if we hold fast to our faith and what is revealed to us during trying times.

I send to you Peace and blessings throughout your day and your week.

Covering our Children and our Household

I've always been told by all my female elders, "Baby, no matters what you do, always pray."  Recently, over the past year or so to be more exact, many of my female elders and cohorts have told me, "Cover your children before they leave your house and as they enter the house again." 

My best friend tells me that she ritually has prayer and bible study with her children when they wake up (before preparing for school and leaving the house) as well as when they come home from school.  She says that this prepares them for all the things they may come against during the day and it helps them diffuse from things that may have caused confusion for them while they were away from their home base.  Isn't this a charge on parenthood and motherhood especially?  To cover our children and protect and prepare them mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. 

Children, no matter what age, can recite passages.  Most children nowadays can recite entire songs heard on the radio or at school.  I'd like to share some that I have given unto my children (some of which have been shared with me by friends and family): Psalm 91, Psalm 23, and Psalm 27. 

I stay prayed up and I desire for my children to follow my example.  As I was recently reminded ever so vividly during a visit to a local bible college, "Children model what they see, not what they hear."  My hope is that my children will be able to abide in the Creator just as they've seen me abide- no matter the circumstance, no matter the obstacle, no matter who is looking or not looking.  I pray that their moral character will speak more loudly than what praise I could ever give them throughout their lives. 

My hope for us mothers and families of African origin is that we never lose our sense of oneness and connection to the Creator, our Source.  It is what has always been our strength and vitality. 

God Bless, Yabo, and Ashe'

Celebrating Motherhood & All Its Challenges

Happy belated Mother's Day to all!  Mothers in the African Khemitic sense is simply a summary of roles.  Mother means backbone of the family, first educator, advocate, nurturer, comforter, confidant, counselor, role model, teacher, and friend.  And no matter how old we get as mothers, we will always have children- those whom we birthed and those who come into our bosoms from others wombs (adopted children).  I must say that I am proud and happy to be a mother and I take pride in the Creator entrusting me to raise and nurture a next generation of catalyst and positive change makers and future builders.

Currently, I began going through a personal ordeal with the local social services system within my county here in North Carolina.  Sadly to say, as a former mental health case manager, I saw the social service system fail many families by not protecting women and children.  In my case, I've seen the system attempt to dismantle and destroy an African family.  There is a false brochure where they claim to be about unifying the family structure and creating safe havens for families within our county.  However, I've first-hand witnessed the social service system falsely accuse and support false medical reporting and blatantly lie in court- all in an effort to dismantle family.  If I didn't know or believe in the virtues of the Creator, I would probably have lost my good mind by this time as I've been caught up 7 weeks within this catastrophe of overzealous and poor social work mania.  As a matter of fact, I found out recently that social service takes about 70-80 children per month from homes within our county alone.  Much of this dismantling is disproportionately race and ethnicity based.  Social service works in collaboration with local doctors who make reports of abuse when they believe that families can't explain the injury of a child suffciently enough.  So, like me, anyone could risk being under investigation because of an injury to your child that a doctor doesn't believe your explanation for.  And according to social services, a doctor is always right.  So, I guess the many cases where physicians have been wrong or injured or even killed a patient due to mistakes or mishaps are just figments of our imaginations.

Fast forwarding the situation- another doctor recently found that the injury to my son was sufficiently explained by me and my son's father and has ruled his injury to be accidental.  The doctor actually stated in his report that this injury could happen to any family.  Guess what?  The local social service system still doesn't want to budge on the allegations against me.  Their reasoning- well, the first doctor says it was an intentional inury.  And there you have it- modern day institutionalized dismantling of the African family all mandated and supported by your local social service system.  And I'm sure that it doesn't help that my son has a pure African name and that I walk into the building bald-headed as a Dginka woman warrior with my t-shirt that displays African pride with an outline of Africa and a large afro with phrases like "pride of my nation", "strong culture and heritage", "seed of God." 

Sometimes motherhood means fighting for your children- especially against a system that doesn't have their best interests in mind or at heart.  I pray and uplift all mothers who endure nameless and enumeral challenges and circumstances when it comes to being the protector and confidant of the fruit of their wombs.  I call forth strength, peace, and faith in the Creator as we continue steadfastly in the role of mother.

Restoring, Building, and Sustaining African Families

Attending my first Sankofa Conference this year was enlightening, revitalizing, and placed my focused where it should be- on family.  With this year's theme of "Reafrikanization and Life Cycles," workshops for children, adults, and elders focused on refocusing our attention on the mission and goal of family building, nation building and charged us as parents to plan for a successful transition from children to adults for our progeny. 

I realized how offset we get at times when we don't prioritize in order or in alignment with the Creator's will for our lives.  As the maintenance of Ma'at (order, balance, harmony) is the ultimate goal of the Universe, we must always connect with the Creator and do our interdependent part.  During the the graduation ceremony of African men and women following there long initiation or passage of rites ceremony, I was enamored by the dedication, commitment, and obligation these young people accepted to be and represent the best of their heritage and culture.  Families getting together and eating natural, healthy meals, mothers breastfeeding, women and men planning future nationbuilding events- I've never experienced anything quite like this and I hunger for me. 

My goals were set, my attention more directed, and my energies are now planted in the soil of building and sustaining African families within my home, my community, and the world.  It is not an easy task however one we must commit to as our survival depends upon it.